Reeled away 5 months !!

Just can't believe that my new baby is 5 months old....ell nearly there in another 48 hours she would be considered as 5month old...well bingo..in one more month, I can start solids, try a bit formula and think of getting small breaks...let's see if this me wants to take a break....

It has been almost a month since I sat down to key in something .....on blogs. It's not just the lack of time, ore lack of interest that stops me from posting, it's just the weird feeling...I've been listening to Joyce Meyer a lot these days, n must say, it has its effect on me, I'm tryin to change .

Some things in life or reactions are just the way it is coz we are hurt for no reason. It is so true that a frustrated person gets mad with small li'l things, it is not that those disrupt your way of life, its just that you don't wanna take another one of those. I've been stuck home for like 6 months, yes partly jobless n some times silly thoughts like B does not have the time for me ...well he does have...i guess its the little me who wants to feel important. I'm most of the time lonely in spite of all the worries n little things in life like kids,their ailments n the like. There is this part of me longing to talk...........or get busy.

Well Just then I hear from Mike Murdock about the meeting up with a person every day in your own house in a secret place...it sounded great, but I'm trying to, meet up with the person called Holy Spirit in my secret place..wow it sounds so nice waiting to meet the person talk to him and feel and tell what i really feel...

Each day looks thee same to me, i wake up, do my routine work n to me it looks like all i do is eat n sleep....n what hurts more is the monotony well just then I confess "I refuse to be offended by this situation, I may not have a single soul to be around with, nor a single soul to share my worries, concerns and my feel, h enemy may try to remind m of all wat I don't have, still, I refuse to be offended...."

Feeling hurt comes naturally to me now tat, even a call to B n he says "What?" in the hurried tone can set me to tears. It shows ...its just me gets me to feel offended but...I'm telling myself that I need to change. I move on...I try to.....forget things that bothers me....well God is my healer, so I trust that he can do it....N there are also moments that i feel so proud being able to bring up my 5 month old...exclusively BF!!! Love that smile she gives me, the shine in her eyes when she sees my face that is what keeps me goin !! The way she can't part with me, this is a first time ever that I feel so wanted, so needed, well, there were days when I looked at her and said to encourage myself "One day we'll walk ahnd in hand and share our secrets". Those were the days that I thought would not end. Those feedings, those sleepless nights, those days in pain, thank God..I am done with that!!! All HE asked me was to 'HAVE A LITTLE FAITH' n yea...it did look like it took 'FOREVER"

it has been 5 months..I feel like I can write a book....esp the last few days has been so a drag ......Since B has left for a short break to India ..It looks like he took away the JOY..hahaha, or is it his way of making us feel like we need to miss him :)

Well things seemed to be going so bad that I really had sleepless n stressful days ...one day I saw that i lost 2 kgs in jus 3 days !!!! We had an episode of power failure, in summer, n no one to call for help. Then, we had this little baby unwell with high fever, thank god for blesson chchan he prayed over her..