It's always so soothing, assuring to one self to hear and sing back the tunes that talk about the love of God. There are some songs where it says that we love god more than anything , we sing to god saying, we have given him more love than anything of this world.
It so happend that while singing such a song, well I was one among the crowd to sing it...it suddenly made me muse, it made me feel light, but then suddenly, out of nowhere I felt a burden, it was such that, do I even lie to God of my love.
It made me ask these questions to myself, why put a face, act up in front of these people, you can act, sing holy but to be holy is something else...
I apologized to my god, said I am sorry, total hypocrisy...
I surrendered all my thoughts, my anxieties, my stife, my everything..
I heard a voice saying 'while singing you say you are my everything, I love you more than Anything of this world. Then why are people so desperate for not having a job, not knowing of your future, not having a home??? why a you so concerned even about the future of your kids... Whom are u loving the uncertainties of this world or an unconditionally loving father?'
It made me think of what it says in the bible...that you do not have the love of the father in him..if u love the world.. Read 1 john 2:15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him
I pondered, many times you make friends with your dreams, your prospective future, contemplating on what to do next to achieve....how much do you love god...oh haven't you read that you are an enemy of god?
Read James4:4
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
Jesus, help me each day to surrender everything at your feet, even anxieties that are birthed due to the friendships I've had with the world...help me to set my focus on you and to truly love you.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Life willows..
Good day to my web confidante...Jesus Christ, is alive, still alive, very much alive...
Have not had much time to muse in the presence of God, but, I'm learning to acknowledge everything that God's working on. It's pretty much instigating to know that, once we learn to admit the way things are, we are contented not only to God but his current way in our life. I'm pretty much sure that everyone has areas to get answers for, areas that they need restoration, areas that you need guidance, but be rest assured that God is in control and behaving like he is ..in control matters
Reading thought proverbs 17:22 made me stumble on a Verse, it says, cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up bones
I couldn't agree less, from my experience, you May have umpteen answered questions in life, your future may look desolate, but, you need to cheer, how? Just trust for real that God is in control, ..We chose to think futile, yes, it may weigh you down, but nevertheless it's futile, when you think of eternity.....we dwell on the very things that get us and keep us down... The pity party begins and before we know, we are in the pit and can’t find our way out
A Crushed Spirit can be caused by sorrow, grief and loss, rejection (even from conception), betrayal of trust, financial status, loss of job...all types oF traumatic experiences. Only Jesus christ, can restore such and bring wholeness of spirit again.A broken spirit also can impair or prevent the ability to receive comfort into the inner distress within the person. But for Jesus to heal one needs to acknowledge that you have a broken spirit, n te benefits of a cheerful heart..to yearn for one, Jesus loves who are thirsty for him...until you kno wer you stand why would you aski him in ?
A cheerful heart chooses God's truth as a barometer for thinking and feeling, allowing God to turn negative situations into positive, it doesn't give up,u simple trusts God and it is evidenced in the way we think, talk, act, and feel. So start with yourself, no one can do that for you, take responsible for being misery,N te way you feel only God can change us. See it says good medicine, why medicine, coz it cures, only Jesus can cure you...of ur emotional weakness
Women struggle so much with what people thought of them, but, "do you really think people have time to be thinking about you so much?" dont be foolish! Dont live in a self-centered world..The medicine doesn't taste good but it sure brings healing ...God's medicine. His love helps it go down better, let someone else think they're right and it's okay. I'd rather stay cheerful than crushed...... God knows the truth.
It has been said, that if you talk to a fig tree and tell it to die the plant will actually begin to wither and dry up ; results of a crushed spirit will do. Our spirits become more full of negatives instead of God and it comes out of our mouths and affects our health. We dry up. God is a positive God. Proverbs 10:28 says that the prospect of the righteous is joy. His prospect or plan for us includes joy and lightness of spirit.
The crushed spirit is not god sent, we kno who comes To steal ur joy! John 10:10 reads, The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
Luke 6:45
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh
The thoughts of your heart will define you and your future.
Have not had much time to muse in the presence of God, but, I'm learning to acknowledge everything that God's working on. It's pretty much instigating to know that, once we learn to admit the way things are, we are contented not only to God but his current way in our life. I'm pretty much sure that everyone has areas to get answers for, areas that they need restoration, areas that you need guidance, but be rest assured that God is in control and behaving like he is ..in control matters
Reading thought proverbs 17:22 made me stumble on a Verse, it says, cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up bones
I couldn't agree less, from my experience, you May have umpteen answered questions in life, your future may look desolate, but, you need to cheer, how? Just trust for real that God is in control, ..We chose to think futile, yes, it may weigh you down, but nevertheless it's futile, when you think of eternity.....we dwell on the very things that get us and keep us down... The pity party begins and before we know, we are in the pit and can’t find our way out
A Crushed Spirit can be caused by sorrow, grief and loss, rejection (even from conception), betrayal of trust, financial status, loss of job...all types oF traumatic experiences. Only Jesus christ, can restore such and bring wholeness of spirit again.A broken spirit also can impair or prevent the ability to receive comfort into the inner distress within the person. But for Jesus to heal one needs to acknowledge that you have a broken spirit, n te benefits of a cheerful heart..to yearn for one, Jesus loves who are thirsty for him...until you kno wer you stand why would you aski him in ?
A cheerful heart chooses God's truth as a barometer for thinking and feeling, allowing God to turn negative situations into positive, it doesn't give up,u simple trusts God and it is evidenced in the way we think, talk, act, and feel. So start with yourself, no one can do that for you, take responsible for being misery,N te way you feel only God can change us. See it says good medicine, why medicine, coz it cures, only Jesus can cure you...of ur emotional weakness
Women struggle so much with what people thought of them, but, "do you really think people have time to be thinking about you so much?" dont be foolish! Dont live in a self-centered world..The medicine doesn't taste good but it sure brings healing ...God's medicine. His love helps it go down better, let someone else think they're right and it's okay. I'd rather stay cheerful than crushed...... God knows the truth.
It has been said, that if you talk to a fig tree and tell it to die the plant will actually begin to wither and dry up ; results of a crushed spirit will do. Our spirits become more full of negatives instead of God and it comes out of our mouths and affects our health. We dry up. God is a positive God. Proverbs 10:28 says that the prospect of the righteous is joy. His prospect or plan for us includes joy and lightness of spirit.
The crushed spirit is not god sent, we kno who comes To steal ur joy! John 10:10 reads, The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
Luke 6:45
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh
The thoughts of your heart will define you and your future.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
the end of a new beginning
Was it that what David Phelps'/..... song said? Liked it..!! I have come to terms with the fact that having a kid under 3 makes you one of those people in church who cannot focus on the sermon. It used to make me feel so dull and without life. But, I have learnt one thing over the course of the last 3 years (yes had 2 babies within this 3 year gap!!) Sometimes, the little you hear is enough to carry you through that week. Sometimes, thats all you need for that week to keep going. !!
I'm continuously baffled at the prospect, that
everytime, I feel discouraged
Everytimg, I'm made to feel low
Everytime, others make me feel insecure
Everytime, people pull me down..
There is always a song that comes on my lips..
it is always so assuraing to keep me going on..and I love it...
Its only been a few weeks, but I love the feel of God's presence in my life.
About 3 weeks ago while sitting in a pew, when the worship was going on, I heard a voice asking me, what do you want to do for me...I said shoulder your ministry. You know it brings me shivers to think of what reply I got. I heard someone telling me, no ...you cant shoulder you need to pillar !!!
He said, shouldering is CHRIST'S BODY(well we have many who can carry me!!) that means one can keep me at a shoulder level, carry me as a burden, he said having burden for me is good..thats a step..but after you have shouldered me, move on...my body is the church, I need people to BE PILLARS of the church WHO CAN BUILD IT, he said quit Shouldering and learn to build it....
I could not help but cry...I said, what do I have in me, to take it to build, I mumbled, it brought me goosebumps, it seemed big enough, I said, I do not even have a one on one with you as much as people in this room. I'm the least of all these people around me..and above all, most of the times, you stir me but I can never keep moving on with the same consistency, but God said...'Let's take a walk together!' It was clear to me that all what i had to go through was to make myself humbled, before god n man, he cannot use self boasting, prideful horses...he needs broken necked donkeys...(oh when i read about the redemption of donkeys in the bible, with a broken neck, it did stir me again...oh father.!!)HE has loved me unconditionallly I agree, but PRESERVED me to PILLAR? He said...it takes long to be pillar, and it takes a lot of pain, a lot of presssure, dont get yourself weary when people say you cant take pressure....god said..'those words are hurting but thats what it feels to be pressureised !!! " God told me ...you will have to be dug out, all thats you need to go, the new foundation have come it and it takes time to make it strong inside, coz you need to hold the CORNERSTONE, none other than me... and its not an easy ride, people push you, rush you, but in the end you will have a deep assurance of your call..BE BLESSED!!
I wish I could get similar encounters, but that day I'm sure I did not get distracted with kids...we did not take them...
Now I understand what the Psalmist says 'oh how I long to be in your presence.'
I'm continuously baffled at the prospect, that
everytime, I feel discouraged
Everytimg, I'm made to feel low
Everytime, others make me feel insecure
Everytime, people pull me down..
There is always a song that comes on my lips..
it is always so assuraing to keep me going on..and I love it...
Its only been a few weeks, but I love the feel of God's presence in my life.
About 3 weeks ago while sitting in a pew, when the worship was going on, I heard a voice asking me, what do you want to do for me...I said shoulder your ministry. You know it brings me shivers to think of what reply I got. I heard someone telling me, no ...you cant shoulder you need to pillar !!!
He said, shouldering is CHRIST'S BODY(well we have many who can carry me!!) that means one can keep me at a shoulder level, carry me as a burden, he said having burden for me is good..thats a step..but after you have shouldered me, move on...my body is the church, I need people to BE PILLARS of the church WHO CAN BUILD IT, he said quit Shouldering and learn to build it....
I could not help but cry...I said, what do I have in me, to take it to build, I mumbled, it brought me goosebumps, it seemed big enough, I said, I do not even have a one on one with you as much as people in this room. I'm the least of all these people around me..and above all, most of the times, you stir me but I can never keep moving on with the same consistency, but God said...'Let's take a walk together!' It was clear to me that all what i had to go through was to make myself humbled, before god n man, he cannot use self boasting, prideful horses...he needs broken necked donkeys...(oh when i read about the redemption of donkeys in the bible, with a broken neck, it did stir me again...oh father.!!)HE has loved me unconditionallly I agree, but PRESERVED me to PILLAR? He said...it takes long to be pillar, and it takes a lot of pain, a lot of presssure, dont get yourself weary when people say you cant take pressure....god said..'those words are hurting but thats what it feels to be pressureised !!! " God told me ...you will have to be dug out, all thats you need to go, the new foundation have come it and it takes time to make it strong inside, coz you need to hold the CORNERSTONE, none other than me... and its not an easy ride, people push you, rush you, but in the end you will have a deep assurance of your call..BE BLESSED!!
I wish I could get similar encounters, but that day I'm sure I did not get distracted with kids...we did not take them...
Now I understand what the Psalmist says 'oh how I long to be in your presence.'
Touched by the presence
If only thoughts could write itself on this blog, the space would not have been enough to describe what runs through me. I've been expereincing a lot of emotions and hot to handle them. Feeling empathy towards a few, has stirr,ed the need to utter out a prayer or two, it has instilled more faith in God, in all what God has done to keep me going. There has been times, when I felt aloof, dull, worthless, when words hurt, when actions hurt, when being corrected. But with God's help, I really can see through it all. God has shown me how to get healed, how to forgive people, not holding them at grudge for things they did unknowlingly.
Talking to one of my close asociate yeterday, gave me a new though, we need to learn to forgive even our parents of what they did to us. Being a single breadwinner is always hard, if they had made some decisions that affected our diginity, or status as a child, and it still brings a tear, then, its not good for you. What ever the decsion they had taken at that time, seemed right to them, may be it still sounds injustice, but, we need to learn to forgive, do not hold them at grudge.!!! I said a word of prayer for this person who shared the pain...when a parent said no to a simple thing.
It also made me think, havign more than one child, u may have to take such decisions, may be its not anything against that child, but there were other priorities.. God understands your pain, he will heal you but u need to forgive ur parents...
God Bless you all...I wish I got more time to write...miss my web confidante !!
Talking to one of my close asociate yeterday, gave me a new though, we need to learn to forgive even our parents of what they did to us. Being a single breadwinner is always hard, if they had made some decisions that affected our diginity, or status as a child, and it still brings a tear, then, its not good for you. What ever the decsion they had taken at that time, seemed right to them, may be it still sounds injustice, but, we need to learn to forgive, do not hold them at grudge.!!! I said a word of prayer for this person who shared the pain...when a parent said no to a simple thing.
It also made me think, havign more than one child, u may have to take such decisions, may be its not anything against that child, but there were other priorities.. God understands your pain, he will heal you but u need to forgive ur parents...
God Bless you all...I wish I got more time to write...miss my web confidante !!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
What is gOd doing to keep u up!!!
More than we God needs us, we need him, just like how much does a mom z needed by her nursing child, so does the Big Daddy....
If we were all made of iron that attracts to the magnet that God is.....things would look different, we cannot be made of alloy or steel, or even cloth, magnet attracts just one .....kind, god also cannot accept light sinners, heavy sinners, side tracking people, wordy etc.... Why is it so hard to draw near to God....why is it not easy to go to him??? Is it that reverence that's stopping, why can god be seen as the only way to move ahead in life...
You're the author who mothers
You.'re the love that does not owe
You're that hope that does not dope
You're the giver of life.....
You're the strength when we fail
You're that treasue when we're lost
You come right to us, pick us out and hugs every time
Oh I wish man's eyes would see more of your glory...
We can endure more of the pressures
We can be assured of one who wud stand by
why seek the appproval, love of mob who have the same fallacies that we have
can't u not trust a higher authority, perhaps the giver, the maker .....is waiting for you to initiate.....
Walk to him, he will make ur feet well enough to run untrodden paths...
He will open our eyes to see the beauty of life, the reason for you to live longer!!!!!
If you want to return....just pray, commune with God..perhaps,.....he z listening out to hear from you.....
Cast me not away from your presence oh lord, take not thy holy spirit from me...
restore unto me the joy of thy salvation....Psalms 55:11
Matthew 7:21–23 - “Not everyone who says to me, „Lord, Lord,‟ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, „Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?‟ Then I will tell them plainly, „I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!‟
If we were all made of iron that attracts to the magnet that God is.....things would look different, we cannot be made of alloy or steel, or even cloth, magnet attracts just one .....kind, god also cannot accept light sinners, heavy sinners, side tracking people, wordy etc.... Why is it so hard to draw near to God....why is it not easy to go to him??? Is it that reverence that's stopping, why can god be seen as the only way to move ahead in life...
You're the author who mothers
You.'re the love that does not owe
You're that hope that does not dope
You're the giver of life.....
You're the strength when we fail
You're that treasue when we're lost
You come right to us, pick us out and hugs every time
Oh I wish man's eyes would see more of your glory...
We can endure more of the pressures
We can be assured of one who wud stand by
why seek the appproval, love of mob who have the same fallacies that we have
can't u not trust a higher authority, perhaps the giver, the maker .....is waiting for you to initiate.....
Walk to him, he will make ur feet well enough to run untrodden paths...
He will open our eyes to see the beauty of life, the reason for you to live longer!!!!!
If you want to return....just pray, commune with God..perhaps,.....he z listening out to hear from you.....
Cast me not away from your presence oh lord, take not thy holy spirit from me...
restore unto me the joy of thy salvation....Psalms 55:11
Matthew 7:21–23 - “Not everyone who says to me, „Lord, Lord,‟ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, „Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?‟ Then I will tell them plainly, „I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!‟
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Reading thru times n years bygone
It sure, seasoned me to this person that I'm...It sure did cut me through, tore me apart emotionally, but now, I feel i'vebeen transformed by god...if there is anything that sets me up, high, n feeling secure, it's the assurance tha I'm etched on his palms.....I'm the apple of his eye, ihe sees me even while I'm asleep......lern your lesson of motherhood from him....
People may hurt us, but mind u those feelings of hurt might b instances where your heavenly father is training you..like he training data in data mining.....so don't take it out on them, if your teacher is not tough you may never move to the next level...I've felt emotionally grudges towards people, even to close as self, but now I see the big picture....God wants me to b selfless, how can u b selfless when all you can think of is you...yourself...!!!!!
People may hurt us, but mind u those feelings of hurt might b instances where your heavenly father is training you..like he training data in data mining.....so don't take it out on them, if your teacher is not tough you may never move to the next level...I've felt emotionally grudges towards people, even to close as self, but now I see the big picture....God wants me to b selfless, how can u b selfless when all you can think of is you...yourself...!!!!!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Baby Time
Time flies by, I remember not able to accept the fact that we have a new member coming in 2011. Finally, that day arrived when I saw Baby Ben face to face...it seemed like we both went thru a lot already, post partum days were long enough!!! I still dont want to try to remember !!! Thank GOD he saw me throug it all.. There were moments that I felt left out all alone, n GOD was my refuge, the only person who I can voice out my fears in fact. I wished many a times that I could experience the person that HE is to literally talk over , to ease my worries....!!!!
2 months, have passed by, I still have some concerns, like will I ever be able to be a good parent. Will I have the patience n resilience my Mom had. Well, I know we are different but, inspite of Mom doing her best, we had our set of idiosyncratic episodes n fallacies !!! I just have to put my trust in JESUS, and ask for the Holy Spirit to guide me through and ask for courage to bear it all when I am at that stage !!! Why does it feel like, I need to go back a few years, wishing if there was a chance to go back 15 years !! Perhaps the key is, enjoy the present!! Coz there is goin to be a tomorrow when u think, that the days with lesser responsibility was easy !! Hmm, I'm glad that we grow up and realize how much of we can do without GOD and how much HE can add value to our every day !!!
Goin to join a MS course feels a little nice to go back to books....I pray that I will be able to do it..:) n my kids would let me :) Jesus, I put it at ur feet once again, and I can't do anything without ur help...Pls be in control of everything that concerns me while I have to attend the classes, specifically pray that the kids will be good while I am away !!
2 months, have passed by, I still have some concerns, like will I ever be able to be a good parent. Will I have the patience n resilience my Mom had. Well, I know we are different but, inspite of Mom doing her best, we had our set of idiosyncratic episodes n fallacies !!! I just have to put my trust in JESUS, and ask for the Holy Spirit to guide me through and ask for courage to bear it all when I am at that stage !!! Why does it feel like, I need to go back a few years, wishing if there was a chance to go back 15 years !! Perhaps the key is, enjoy the present!! Coz there is goin to be a tomorrow when u think, that the days with lesser responsibility was easy !! Hmm, I'm glad that we grow up and realize how much of we can do without GOD and how much HE can add value to our every day !!!
Goin to join a MS course feels a little nice to go back to books....I pray that I will be able to do it..:) n my kids would let me :) Jesus, I put it at ur feet once again, and I can't do anything without ur help...Pls be in control of everything that concerns me while I have to attend the classes, specifically pray that the kids will be good while I am away !!
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